Trampoline Park, Take 2

Well, my friends.. 5 days into December, anyone need a laugh? 

I stumbled upon this old article I had written for Southlakemoms.com and decided it needed a re-visit to the blog. For one, because I don't have time to sit and write a new article and two, because it sounds so much like how I look and feel during my new exercise class I have reluctantly begun. 

A little something called PiYo. 

Scary name, right? Well, talk about scary... You should see all 6 feet of me trying to form my frame into those cray cray positions. HA! That will be my next article, friends. One not to miss. In all fairness, the class is TOTALLY awesome and is showing me all kinds of results. This instructor, however is female this time. So I don't care near as much what my hair looks like during class as I did in the article below. Ha!  And let me tell you, she is a little ball of fire that will whip you into shape faster than you can say PiYo. 

I am saving all of the hilarious moments for the article, so, until then... Enjoy an old "laugh at Maxi" post. It's okay if you laugh at me. People do it all the time. Including my fellow PiYo peeps that are unlucky enough to stand by me. Just so you're laughing.... Laughter is good for the soul!!

Confessions From The Trampoline Park

Today marked my second trampoline boot camp class. And let me tell you something... This junk is not at all easy. I was SO excited the first time I went! I couldn’t wait! I was breaking my treadmill, weights, crunches routine! Wahoo! I walked in, put my water bottle down, found my little trampoline space and started bouncing with a smile on my face like those around me. La di da, la di da... jump, jump, jump... I had no idea what I was in for. 

Then, the best part about the whole darn thing came waltzing in. The instructor. Oh yeah. The young, hot, built to perfection, tall, blonde instructor. We shall call him McHotness. Dude is a fitness model. Okay? I all of a sudden became very aware of  what I looked like. During the warm up, I wondered why does the instructor have to be so darn cute and I look like a flailing flamingo. Arms and legs everywhere, I tell you. Everywhere. I kept up during this phase, and even kept my smile, though I was sucking wind and could not speak. I twisted and did knee tucks with the best of them.  McHotness announced we were 20 minutes in and we could get some water. Thank the Lord. 20 minutes? It had only been 20 minutes? What the?

Second phase. Here we go. This part of the workout starts to get intense. It didn’t help that every time I looked up front, what coordination I may have had, went straight out the window. Goodness gracious, I even jumped into the mat three times and sprained my ankle. Maybe I should take up cooking classes instead of this mess, but I’m afraid the instructor will not be this cute. Onward I jump and squat and mountain climb. All the while, looking ridiculous. Not to mention the sweat soaking through all of my clothing. Nike DriFit my arse! “Get some water,” he bellowed. Hallelujah.

Third phase. Broken ankle and all, here we go again. I’m starting to loathe McHotness. Up there all bossy and un-sweaty. Telling us to “keep it low,” “quit walking,” “I said RUN in place!” Whatever, Man. We can’t even breathe. I kept going nonetheless. Yes, I fell once. Yes, I smell like a horse by now. Yes, I jumped in someone else’s “space.” But that’s okay. I didn’t like her anyway. She must have been a cheerleader or something, and she was making the rest of us look bad. Her toe touches were too high. I’m glad I jumped on her. Still, model man kept on. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore and was about to throw my sweaty towel at him,  it was time to do crunches. At least you get to lie down during this part. Geez. I had decided McHotness would now be McMeanness.

I hobbled out that first day after class, sweat soaked and mad at the instructor. It took me 28 minutes to tie my shoes and walk to my car. That’s the shape this class left me in. I decided I needed a hamburger.  I deserved it after all. And guess what?  I went back for more today, believe it or not. McHotness was back in action. Who quickly became McMeanness during phase two. Cheerleader girl was there also, all smiley and jumping right next to me. This time I even stayed on my own trampoline and only crashed once. Come join me next time, we can laugh at each other. If we can can catch our breath enough to laugh.... 

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